This app was removed from the App Store.
Fartoscopes - My Fart Horoscope
iOS iPhone Entertainment
WELCOME TO FARTOSCOPES-MY FART HOROSCOPE, YOUR VERY OWN 365 DAY A YEAR FART HOROSCOPE, OR IN THE CASE OF SOME, FART HORROR SCOPE.
FOR CENTURIES FARTOLOGISTS HAVE BEEN EXPLORING THE ANCIENT MYSTICAL WORLD OF ASSTROLOGY AND THE EVEN DEEPER GASEOUS SCIENCE OF FARTOLOGY, HOW THE STARS AND PLANETS ALIGN WITH YOUR BODY AND AFFECT YOUR FUTURE FARTS.
FROM THE INSNIFFIFICENT TO ALL OUT FART STORMS, HOW COOL WOULD IT BE TO GET THE HEAD’S UP, FULL POOP FORECAST ON YOUR LATEST BREAKING WIND, BEFORE IT HAPPENS?
Cancer May 1st 2009
Today your farts are so foul, even The Toilet Monster will be afraid to come chew on your butt.
Scorpio June 6th 2008
You are a great listener, but all too often only to your own farts. Today give others a chance to be heard.
Libra March 10th 2007
Mush avocado all over your face today, it won’t do much to cover up the smell of your farts, but people will let you off easy, thinking you’re a Swamp Creature.
Aquarius January 14th 2006
This is your kind of weather, smoggy, although your fellow car-poolers are getting tired of you trying to hide your farts as a dirty catalytic converter.
I KNOW RIGHT? NOW YOU CAN AVOID THOSE PREVIOUSLY UNPREDICTABLE UNTIMELY EMBARRASING NOISY DISRUPTIONS AT THE OPERA AND HIGH SCHOOL REUNIONS, THOSE ALL TOO OFTEN THUNDEROUS OUTBURSTS AT THE LIBRARY, AND LINGERIE STORE. THOSE ANNOYING SELF INCRIMINATING NIGHTS ON THE TOWN WHEN A HAVING A BLAST AT BINGO, DIDN’T MEAN STINK, TO YOU.
IMAGINE HAVING THE KNOWLEDGE AND FORESIGHT, TO PLAN YOUR DAYS WITH CONFIDENCE, AND WISDOM. “FARTOSCOPES-MY FART HOROSCOPE.” CAN HELP YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR SITUATION, AND GIVE THAT CHEAKY LITTLE ELEVATOR OPERATOR A REAL LIFT TO HIS DAY, FLOORING HIM WITH A RIPPER, FLUTTERBLAST, OR SBD THAT REALLY PUSHES ALL HIS BUTTONS.
THE POWER TO TAKE FULL CONTROL OF THE FLATULENCE IN YOUR FUTURE IS NOW POSSIBLE WITH “FARTOSCOPES-MY FART HOROSCOPE.”
PLAN YOUR DAYS WISELY, BE SURE TO VISIT DAILY, AND CHECK YOUR STAR SIGN FOR YOUR BRAND NEW FARTOSCOPE. A FART IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE.
“FARTOSCOPES-MY FART HOROSCOPE.” IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND WHILE IT MAKES EVERY EFFORT TO BE ACCURATE, WE ARE BUTT MORTAL MEN.