pINKy the Game
iOS Universal Games
DONT DOWNLOAD THIS APP!!!!
Hey— do you like your device you're using right now?
Do you like that it isn't completely obliterated?
Then maybe it would be a good idea for you to stay away from this app... it's really frustrating.
You WILL end up throwing your device at a wall and shattering it by round 3...
(*pINKy the game is not responsible for shattered phones via tossing frustration)
Do you like your life right now?
Do you enjoy people and laughter?
Please DONT get this app, it will suck the joy out of you, you can (and will) become addicted, you wont be able to put your device down!
You have been warned.
You may think this app looks simple, I mean just look at the screenshots, all you have to do is travel with your ink propulsion octopus, and not touch the walls— how hard can it be? Well... quite frankly, it can be as hard as Will.I.Am's music.
If you walk away now, you will live the rest of your days happy, you will never know the agony of not being able to beat your highscore for days on end. If you walk away now, the story ends. If you take the pINK pill, you will stay in frustration, and I'll show you just how cracked a phone can be. (Because you threw it at a wall out of anger of your inability to score more than "5").
•pINKy is not liable for detentions you may receive for screaming at your device in frustration during class.
•pINKy is not responsible for any sleep depravation that may result from not being able to put the "freggin'" game down.
•pINKy is an official sponsor of NoShave-November
•Knock knock? Who's there? Doesn't matter, you're too busy playing pINKy to answer the door anyways.
•Octopuses do not actually squirt pink ink in real life, if you put this down on a biology test we are not responsible for your failed grade which causes you to drop out of school in shame and then you become a hobo with 3 toes and have to eat garbage can food for the remainder of your days.
•In the event that you do become a hobo with 3 toes eating garbage can food, we have a tip: thrown-out pizza is like a wild card, because you can put any other food remains, no matter how much they don't "go together", on the pizza, and it just becomes a "topping".
•What do you call a sleeping pizza? A PiZZZa.
•Don't get this game, you've been warned! Mwahaha
Fixed bug where notification badges would not dismiss after app was opened.
Changed loading time on our "Check out our other apps" screen for 4 seconds to 2.5 seconds.