App Shopper: HECTOR: Badge of Carnage Ep1 (Games)

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HECTOR: Badge of Carnage Ep1

iOS iPhone

*** Silver Medal Winner for BEST GAME SERIES in 2011 Best App Ever Awards! ***

Listen up, meatsacks... EPISODE 2 & 3 are now available from TELLTALE GAMES to all you slobbering filthy-minded drunks who've been banging down our door. Go buy a copy. It'll make us happy, if not yourself.

Anyway, no doubt you’ve been waiting years for a half-decent game to show up in the Adventure category of the App Store. Well, this is it. Half-decent, as promised.

#1 ROLE PLAYING GAME in the USA, UK and around 20 OTHER COUNTRIES. Made a couple of top 100 lists, won a few awards, captivated the attention of zillions, etc. etc. No idea why, really, but we're rather chuffed about it to say the least.

EPISODE 1: WE NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS
When a hostage crisis erupts in the centre of Clappers Wreake, only one man has the diplomatic finesse to defuse a simmering situation before it boils over into a stew of butchery and bloodshed: Detective Inspector Hector. He’s all they’ve got. Literally. All the other negotiators are dead. Hector has a choice to make: carry out the terrorist’s curiously altruistic demands, or watch as his fellow officers are picked off one by one. Hector’s still on the fence.

Stagger a drunken mile through the Crime Capital of Britain in the size 9s of Detective Inspector Hector: part criminalist, part kebab-fiend, all cop.

Do all the things you’ve dreamed about: hit a tramp with a crowbar, steal a young man’s trousers, kick a drug addict into a cardboard box, enter a pornshop without embarrassment, carry a designer handbag... all in the name of justice, and all in spectacular ground-breaking 2D.

Did we mention? It’s not for kids.

This isn’t one of those bog-standard Oh-god-where-am-I-how-did-I-get-here-there’s-a-screwdriver-in-a-desk-drawer type escape games that the interweb seems to be infested with nowadays. HECTOR:BADGE OF CARNAGE takes you back to the glory days of the point 'n click graphic adventure: nonsensical inventory items, favour-hungry reprobates, and a relentless stream of witty one-liners.

WHAT YOU GET:
- 18 sordid, filthy, rundown locations
- 23 well-developed & witty characters (+ 1 stinking drunk)
- 40 Inventory items (includes Free Lubricant!)
- 397 interactive objects
- 2421 spoken lines of dialogue
- Cinematic cutscenes
- Original score
- A good few hours worth of low action puzzle-solving gameplay

WHAT WE GET:
- Your cash.

Look, we honestly don’t care if you like it. We just want you to buy it.

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Here's what people are saying about HECTOR: BADGE OF CARNAGE...

"Lewd. Crude. Gross. And a great throwback to classic adventures." - IGN, Editors' Choice Award 2010

"Brilliant... Yes it really is that good..." - Eurogamer, 9/10

“...Wish I could give it two five star ratings...This is one of the best produced, most polished games I've played on this platform. Great graphics, animation, and voice acting; the controls are perfect, and the puzzles so far (I have yet to leave the environs of the police station) have been fairly easy but funny as hell. Reminds me a bit of a 2D Sam and Max adventure but much, much nastier...”

“...Omg. What a game, what a game. Love the humor love the animation love the everything about this. My only fear is it might be over quickly cuz I'm having so much fun...”

“...I can't believe how damn perfect this game is...”

"...I've never been so shocked at a game before. Never have I felt so immersed in a 2d game. Never have I laughed so much in one room of a game. Never have I seen more creative puzzle and dialogue. GET IT GET IT GET IT..."

"...This game is funnier than a vegetable that has grown into a rude and amusing shape!"

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Episode 2 & 3 out now! Find out more at www.telltalegames.com/hector

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Follow Hector on Twitter: @diHector

What's new

***RETINAL BLIMMIN' DISPLAY***
Right, now that Episodes 2 and 3 are in the bag, the monkeys down at Straandlooper HQ have finally cobbled together some sort of detached-retina version of Hector Episode 1. Like you really wanted to see grime and filth in such riveting detail.

NOTE TO CAVEPEOPLE: if all you've got's an iPhone 3G (or, god forbid, 2G), don't bother updating. It'll just be a massive download of crystal clear images and movies that will have no effect on your pixel-envious screens.

Other than that, there's:
- Convenient Episode 2 & 3 purchasing buttons
- No longer crashes when combining every item with every other item in desperation
- That door doesn't disappear in the menu on iPhone 4s anymore (can't tell you how much that bugged me)
- A loverly bit of episode 2 & 3 promotional artwork when you finish.
- Cavepeople can see the cutscenes again.

You won't be disappointed, any more than you already are.

By the way, don't forget to five-star me again with this new version. (I know what you're thinking: Shame you can't give out six stars. It's a pain I live with every day.)